People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world your best and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It never was between you and them anyway.
-Mother Teresa

Monday, November 30, 2009

I Hate This Part

I hate having to say it out even type it out loud......sending it out there to the universe, because once it is out there the bad dream is no longer a bad dream. You know that it is not something crazy you just invented. It becomes real. Maybe it really is a bad dream right now. Maybe I'm having an out of body experience. But I know once I type those words and press send that it will become reality. My baby died. There I said it. It really is happening for the 4th time. I can't believe it. I was so positive about this one. I really felt things were going to work out this time.

Well, now I can craft again. Now my feet will quit being cold. Now I will hopefully stop throwing up. Now I will gain some energy back. But even these feeble attempts at making myself feel better doesn't make me feel better. I really wanted that baby. I could really see myself hauling three kids around. You'd think it would get easier after having delt with it 3 other times. I'm not really trying to fish for sympathy right now....I hate to make this kind of stuff public, but I guess I did need to print a retraction from my last blog post. It's like telling people you are going to be the main part in a production and then when you've got everyone's attention you pee your pants and fall on your face when trying to run away. I hate that. I just needed to get my thoughts out of my head before I go mad. It still feels sort of surreal. This day threw me a curve ball and I got blind-sided by it. Sorry to have posted the last post and then this one.

Friday, November 27, 2009

It is sad...

....that to lose 18 pounds I have to get pregnant. That's right. Got a little Jason Jr. in the oven. I'm 10 weeks along and pretty excited in a sadistic kind of way I guess. Maybe pchologically I really like the torture my girls put me through. Good thing they are cute ;) No really, I'm excited.
So there has been no posting because all I really had energy to do was get my girls food and throw up. No crafts to post, well exept for 2 fixed up shirts and 3 Christmas pillows I made before I got sick (no pics because no energy). I haven't even felt like crafting at all!!!! Can you believe that me, the project queen, has no desire to craft?!?!?!?! It is sickening I tell you. But I found a picture I like and it is on the side of my blog. "I'm so crafty I make people." That about sums it up right now. Jason + Me = Baby #3

Side note: Sophie's hand is doing great. My little nephew got burned really bad with boiling water and spent 5 days in the hospital. He's a special boy and we hope he make a quick recovery. What is up with the burns in our family!?!?