People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world your best and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It never was between you and them anyway.
-Mother Teresa

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Thankful

I have so much on my mind but don't know what to say. The last two weeks have revealed so many blessings to me that I knew I had, but just didn't appreciate as much as I should. While my heart is still broken, I feel so much peace in my relationship with my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. The other miscarriages left me angry, bitter, and questioning why, why, why. But I wouldn't trade those experiences as hard as they were, because it has left me with stronger faith in Heavenly Father. I know he loves me and is aware of my struggles. I may be sad now but I know he sees the bigger picture and knows what he is doing. There is great comfort in that knowledge. The blessing of friends and especially family has been brought before me and I feel so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. My mother-in-law came up here the day we found out and stayed with us for a whole week. I was still so sick and throwing up everything until I had my D/C that Friday. She took care of the girls and took so much weight off of my and Jason's shoulders. Then my mom came up here this past week while I was recovering and is has been so great to have her here.

The biggest blessing I have recognized has been my girls. I am so glad to have them. They are the sweetest and most special things in my life. Regan is like Tender-Heart Bear. She is so aware of people and sensitive to things that happen around her. I had the girls with me in the ultrasound room because Jason was at school and I didn't think there would be anything to worry about. When the doctor said that there was no heart beat Regan wanted me to explain to her what was happening. As I did, I started bawling. She grabbed a ton of tissues and started hugging me saying over and over, "It's alright mama. I'm here. I'll help you feel better." Sophie was there giving me hugs too. Sophie is like Fun-Shine Bear. She just bounces off the walls and her cheesy smile can make me smile anytime.

Right now I just feel so much gratitude. Thank you for your kind words and prayers. I have felt them. I'm going to start posting more upbeat posts now because I don't want you to get sick of my sad posts. I hope you all are having a wonderful Christmas season so far!

7 comments:

Kristin said...

Oh my Goodness Krystal I haven't read anyone's blog for a few weeks...I had no idea that you had gone through so much. I am so sorry dear. You have such a way of expressing your feelings and raw emotions. I am grateful that you shared it all...Makes us all remember to be so grateful. I love this post on gratitude. You are such an amazing person and great example to me. (No one ever served me so much like you did the day that you came over and cleaned my house for me). I just love you, and I am so sorry that I haven't been there for you. If you feel up to it, come on over. If not, I totally understand. I would love to see you and just talk or hang out. Take care and enjoy those beautiful girls.

The Colvins said...

Kristal, you are such a beautiful person. I'm so glad you have your little girls and that their sweet spirits are helping you get throught this time. I just wanted you to know that I put your name and Jason's in the temple last week and I continue to keep you in my prayers. Heavenly Father loves you and I believe that His angles are with you during this difficult time.

KaNdRa and JaReD said...

I have felt the same way the past couple of weeks since Gavin was burned. I'm glad that you have kept things in perspective. TTYL

ps. I love you blog background.

Dawna Greer said...

I was glad that I was able to spend a few days with you. You have two awesome little girls.I love your comparisons of them to those care bears--so fitting. Jason is awesome too--you're a wonderful little family. How are your projects coming?

frank said...

I hope that you are feeling better today. I enjoyed your blog and can feel your strong,tender feelings and testimony. You are special and the Lord know this and will watch over you.and your family. Love ye Dad

thewaites said...

Kristal...Thank you! Thank you for sharing this post. I am at a loss for words right now, but your tender feelings, powerful testimony, sweet gratitude has filled me with such joy and gratitude to know you and call you my friend. I sobbed when I read about Tender-Heart Bear and Sunshine Bear. I am so glad you have those precious girls. This whole thing is terrible, but I am so glad that you are able to feel of your Heavenly Father's and Saviors love for you because it is undoubtably there. You are so special and amazing! Thank you for your example. I love you and your beautiful family! Merry Christmas! =)

The Gurney Family said...

Kristal. You are so awesome! I am so glad I have you for a friend!